Honest Scrap

Tagged by the suave, articulate, and now Dr. Leo MacCool! I subscribe to more than 10 blogs but here are a random 10 for you to read.

There are three rules for this award:

First, link back to the person who gave you the award.

Next, give the award to ten other bloggers:

1. Don't let's talk, who is honest in her own very charming way and whose blog you simply have to read
2. Butchtastic, who is unapologetic and honest and delightfully butch.
3. Freedomgirl, who wrote me the fateful email that discussed femme and helped me get more comfortable in my own femme
4. Namaste by Day, whose outlook towards her job sounds so much like my own that it's scary (and who understands what I say about mine!)
5.Vixen Kitten, who is beautifully open about her sexuality
6. Mina, who inspired me to delve into my submissiveness
7. Green Eyed Girl, who likes to use pictures to express her honest self
8. Amelia, who is honest even when it hurts
9. Sinclair, who started my whole gender inquiry in the first place
10. Alphafemme, who honestly explores the various ways for her to express her femme

10 Honest Things

1. I have borderline personality disorder. It makes every little comment, cancellation of plans, tip that I have something on my face, etc. seem like they hate me and want to leave me. Seriously. It's hell.
2. I loved my Hitachi, and now I hate it. But I have yet to find something that really feels good.
3. It is going to absolutely kill me to teach the 5th grade Sunday school class about the sacrament of marriage. I might pass most of that one off to my co-teacher. I treat this as teaching doctrine, not what I necessarily believe (even though I am Catholic) but it will bother me anyway.
4. It weirds me out to have cats following me into the bathroom. I won't have it. I won't even undress if they're looking at me.
5. Too much of me is tied to my best friend and if they move the way her husband says they will someday, I will fall to pieces and no one will be around to pick them up.
6. I have very few other *real* friends in real life. Most either think I'm weird and don't like me, or I end up leaving them because their conservative views make me uncomfortable with myself.
7. Once I had a dream that I slept with a coworker who was my support staff person last year. After that I couldn't look him in the eye for a while. It didn't help that he smelled good and was all friendsy with me (he always was and that used to be fine). AWKWARD.
8. I don't dress up properly for school because I won't wear stretchy dress pants, silky pants, blouses, or heels (I'll only wear heels to a bar). I'm a little autistic. If I wear those fabrics, I am so uncomfortable and out of sorts all day I can't concentrate. So I have great empathy for my kids with autism who need to jump/chew on something/wear only cotton/etc.
9. I have to end a flight of stairs on the right foot. I count to myself and if I think I'll end on the left I take two at a time to get it right.
10. I'm perpetually afraid that someone will come take away my labels about gender and sexuality. I'm so confused and still exploring and I want community and I want support. But as a bisexual, even though I really call myself gay because I like the word better, sometimes lesbians hate on me. The straight world, too, because they don;t think it's for real. The fake ones are called "barsexuals." :) Anyway. I subscribe to so many gender/sexuality/queer blogs just so I don't feel so alone.