Tuesday, May 12, 2009
I have heteronormativity in every part of me. I was just a part of that and now some of these new concepts feel funny. In theory, I always talk about men doing whatever they want, and wearing whatever they want, and if you were to ask me, I'd totally be behind it. But put me in front of a man wearing something feminine and dancing or whatever, or even just walking down the street, when it's not during a drag show, my first thought is not something about "Good job!" Now why is that? I wish it was. Why IS this? I mean, I was at my friend's house and her husband showed me this video of these German men dancing and their outfits were less than manly and I had to hold back a snicker and a comment. What is wrong with me? I don't WANT these things in my head. I don't want to deep down be embracing a strict binary gender system with traditional gender roles and appearances. Some would argue that because this is my reflex, that means it's right and ordained by God. No, I would argue that. But I would really like to know what my problem is.
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Socialization is the hardest thing to unlearn. We are raised with that strict binary gender system. I fight every day to readjust my outlook with gender. Even with close friends who are transitioning, I fight to make sure I'm using the right pronouns, that I'm not thinking of them as "a woman in a suit", that I don't chuckle when I notice a drag queen with a slightly askew prosthetic breast. It needs to be a constant awareness. Eventually, perhaps, we'll all just recognize gender for what it is; a self-identifying trait.
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