Saturday, August 22, 2009

Life update, Photo Edition.

I can't decide what to write about. I want to talk about my mental health issues more, because I have more information now, but I also want to talk about my new classroom. I'll go with the new classroom. As you know, I am no longer in an ED classroom. Last year was so full of stress and crying and stuff. Most of my students made great progress, but at the expense of my health. I'm now teaching in a different school (same corporation) in a 3-4 (well, they moved a couple 2nd graders to my room) LifeSkills classroom. This includes students with severe disabilities. It's hard to explain. We are working on functional academics and daily living skills. Because these kids are still working on recognizing and writing their names, matching identical items, identifying shapes, colors, survival words, etc. You get the picture. I have a couple of medically fragile students as well. They both have grand mal seizures frequently, so I have to keep an eye out for that. People ask me why I work with these kids, they tell me I have patience, and that I must be some sort of angel. Well, not really. The real angels are general ed teachers. I loathe teaching general ed. I did it a few times subbing. I dropped that degree early on and stuck with special ed. Anyway, I love these kids. I feel most comfortable around them. I've really gotten attached to one already. Sweet little J (I assign random letters for my students if I talk about them) is in third grade and unfortunately her seizure meds have really lowered her functioning. But even on day two, she was more alert, and she was holding eye contact with me for almost 10 seconds at a time. She isn't tracking too well with objects, but then again I wouldn't really want to look at a cup full of Pediasure for too long anyway. Who knew they made banana flavored? I have quiet kids, except for one. S has a loud cry that suspiciously sounds like a lot of other autistic kids I've worked with (I don't get hte similarity but all of them make my ears ring). They're all pretty sweet.

I feel peaceful. I know I will have hard times, but it won't be anything like last year. I feel somuch better. I visited my old school to meet with someone and as soon as I walked in, I felt the huge weight on me. I forgot what that felt like. It made me realize I made the right decision to leave.

Unlike last year, I have two wonderful staff members in the room to assist. They actually do what I ask them to do, and have a good balance of respect/love and laying down the law.

This is the week before school...I'm just pretending to work on stuff. Really, I'm freaking out.

I take the best pictures when I'm feeling some intense emotions. Sometimes it's anger, sometimes it's sadness, and sometimes it's lust. It happens to be anger here, after this ridiculous conversation I had that made me want to just throttle someone. It was around that time I completely cut off a whole bunch of my friends. I feel better for it.

Last bit of info: I've started playing my violin again. I played for about 8 years and then stopped in college. My goal is to play in a symphony within the next couple of years, either in my city or the next over. However, when you stop playing, your fingers get all soft again. I'm trying to reacquaint them with the strings. Note the string markings on my fingertip. I do love this picture.


Gina said...

The similarities with our jobs and the way we feel about them are a bit spooky. I hate gen ed too...although I do love my gen ed little 2nd grade speech group. :)

Anonymous said...

i like reading this. what you do is what my girlfriend wants to go into, and it's rather alien to me, which makes it fascinating.

i love that last picture.