Sunday, August 30, 2009

Things I Cannot Believe I Have to Say in my Classroom

I say things every day that shock me and make me laugh. A lot of them are from one person. There's always one....She's a sweetie, except going through early puberty, so there are a lot of mood swings (more than the usual). She has autism and is still "in her head" a lot. I am trying to get her in touch with me as much as I can so we can actually accomplish something. She drives me crazy but at the same time, she does so many funny things, and is so loving at times, that I have to just love her. She is nonverbal but finds plenty of ways to let us know what she wants. Plus, she is the loudest kid for being the least verbal! Ha!

Volume 2 coming later, after this week's shenanigans.

  • Stop licking the glass!
  • Don't lick me, either!
  • Put your clothes back on!
  • Move along kids, move along. No students in HERE only wearing diapers because they've taken up defiant stripping.
  • Eat that pureed hot dog. (Followed by: OK, you know what? That's gross. I won't make you eat that. At least there were apricots on the menu today and those aren't bad pureed.)
  • TAKE those hands OUT of the urinal! Oh we are so washing our hands.
  • Please remove your nametag/crayon/shirt/alphabet card from your mouth. Here, use your chewy instead.
  • Try not to grope me.
  • Could you please not grab my butt?
  • Knock off the Joker laugh please.
  • Do not giggle and say "that's not me" EVERY SINGLE DAY when we identify names at circle time.
  • Please don't run us over.
  • Fingers out! No fingers should go in ANY....uh...anythings.
  • Hmm. You have Wednesday underwear in your locker as backup. Well, better than nothing, even though it's Friday.


Gina said...

Awww! Sounds like a great job!

I had a conversation with a boy on Friday who hit someone on the bus. Apparently, a girl on the bus tried to make him say a bad word...ready for this? WEINER. So it pissed him off so badly that he hit the boy sitting next to the girl. I guess he knew not to hit a girl, which is something at least.

I used to work at a center for kids with autism and I am pretty sure I said all of the things in this post. Oh, and "Here, smell my ponytail. It will make you feel better." Love it.

Mina said...

Oh my! This just made me chuckle. What an interesting job indeed!

Anonymous said...

Thank you for not making them eat the pureed hot dog. That really is gross.

"Please don't run us over" made me laugh - I can't imagine.

Miss Emily said...

Oh, and for those who don't know, I work with kids with severe disabilities. We work on daily living skills and functional academics (numbers, letters, time, money, etc.) It's a blast. I wouldn't trade it for any other teaching job ever.

The please don't run us over comment was from this kid who rides around in the gym on a scooter. They go in the gym for recess with the adaptive equipment (it's just too crazy with all the kids on the playground) and I take this one girl out of her wheelchair and sit with her on the ground. Not good to sit in the chair all day. F comes over and gets dangerously close!

2 of my kids have seizure disorders and are on a soft food diet due to their frequent grand mal seizures. Cuts down on the choking hazard I imagine. They puree whatever is for lunch that day. Sometimes it turns out to be gross. Applesauce to the rescue.

Thanks for the comments! It really is a zoo in there, but it's a fun one.

Anonymous said...

Em, if you can handle all that and still laugh at the end of the day, you are a goddess among women -- my hat's off to ya in a big way. Hearing this reminds me of the time my son's hall principal called to report that he was in her office and she was filling out the necessary paperwork to suspend him for 2 days. The reason? His um, 'creative' way of avoiding a fight in the hallway -- he dropped his pants and MOONED the kid, during class change, so EVERYONE was present for the show. Note, my son was a sophmore at the time and NOT severely disabled -- unless you count his SOCIAL retardation, ahem. He got in like zero trouble for shenanigans though, simply because no one could stop LAUGHING THEIR ASSES OFF long enough to even tell him to go to his room. Got to get your jollies where ya can. BTW, I really like the new masthead photo -- very sophisticated!