Saturday, October 3, 2009

My aunt needs a lung transplant.

Fuck.

The doctor here had her on prednisone for so long and it ruined her bones. 1 She walks hunched over now, and has had back surgeries because her spine is weak. M@y0 Cl!n!c told her yesterday that she would need a one lung transplant and would need round the clock O2. She said she feels much better with the oxygen, which is great, but a transplant is huge, and survival rates for lung transplants suck.

I got teary when I heard the phrase transplant team from the phone when my dad was talking to her but haven't cried since. I'm not good at crying. I cried Wednesday because one of my former students is being expelled for being so violent. But that was it.

And my medicine is making me miserable. It is helping the down swings some, and definitely calmed down my thougts, and made my head quiet, but the restless legs are unbearable. I hope this is temporary. I can't keep taking Xanax because it's not really a long term every day drug. At least that's what I thought I heard. But either way, I can't handle this.

But fuck. My aunt needs a lung transplant. And Dad wants to be a donor. Because you can live with one lung, even though it's not ideal.

I don't even know how to handle this.

3 comments:

Gina said...

I'm so sorry about your aunt. That sucks. I know you are going to think I am crazy, but I strongly suggest yoga. It always gets me into a better, more centered place.

ladybrettashley said...

*hug*

ladybrettashley said...

*hug*